And so it begins...

This blog is for me.  I have been meaning to write a blog for a long time now.  I have encouraged many of my friends and even my sister to start blogging, but have delayed my own entrance into the world of public diary keeping. 

You see, I love blogs, memoirs, documentaries and the like.  I have often found much comfort in others words, and experiences and even though at this point I am not sure what it is that I have to offer in this blogging arena; I know for certain that I need to write.

I have avoided coming to this place of writing for years.  I have made many excuses for myself, many of which are quite valid.  I have four children, one of whom is autistic. I can always find a reason to busy myself with housework, homework, and the care of children.  It is however becoming increasingly difficult to find within a multitude of family  responsibilities, time for me.  I am starting to realize that life will not slow down to an acceptable pace. Time continues to pass, all the while I feel as though I am still standing at the starting line of a race indeterminate in length.The horizon of life stretches out before me and within it I see only the possibilities of my own making .  If life is what you make it, then I have spent far too much time worrying about clean floors, tidy rooms, sparkly toilets and reasonably polished children--sometimes unfortunately in that order.

Last week as I was driving out of town to attend a gala event in which my grandmother is an organizer, I happened to tune into a feature that the CBC news program, The Current  was playing.  The gentleman being interviewed had just finished writing a book in support of the argument that couples should consider having larger families.   Bryan Caplan is actually an economist, and is a professor at, George Mason University.  His book is based on research somewhat related to the whole , "nature vs nurture" theory-- or as he calls it the "short run vs long run effect."
The research that he employed in writing his book mostly involved utilizing twins and adopted children to determine the actual effect that parents have on their children long term.  The gist of the interview,  (I have yet to read the book) was that parents in our culture spend far too much time worrying about how our actions, ( or lack thereof  )will effect our children's long term development.  The interview was actually quite eye opening and is worth a listen;

http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/episode/2011/05/06/selfish-reasons-to-have-more-kids-bryan-caplan/

I suppose once the interview was over, I had an abundance of food for thought.  How much time do I really spend shaping my children's lives?  Do I waste time driving around the city like a crazy person carting children off to better schools,  activities, lessons and the like  that could be better spent in development of increasing my own happiness; thus trickling down to impact on my children's contentment?    Am I merely a guide, guardian; a distant observer of my children's genetically predetermined development?
I must say that listening to Mr. Caplan brought me a strange sense of peace, that as a mother I rarely get to experience----you mean that it isn't always all my fault???

How liberating, Reaganomics as a parenting style......